I didn't realize how stressed I had become over all of the aspects related to reconstruction. Some of these include: Are you doing this for your child or is this the decision that was reached because you love your child so much you want to prevent, if possible, the days he MAY have his feelings hurt by others.
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Hayden is self aware and extremely proud of his Little Ear. When a kid at school asked him about it, he replied with, "A Bear Ate It Off." I think I have also heard him say something along the lines "I got into a wrestling match, and that's REALLY what happened. I love my child's since of humor.
On top of that, I really LOVE my husband more than he will ever know. He called it, told me I was trying to juggle too many things at one time, and he recommended I not deal with BCBS, any type of fundraising planning, NO ear related activities. It was amazing how when that weight was lifted, I felt much more calm and at ease with what a God has planned for my son.
You know, sometimes you must also see things through the eyes and heart of a child. About a month ago, Hayden sat down on the couch by me and with tears in his eyes said, "Momma, you have always told me God made me special. Do you not think that way anymore?"
Can you say golf ball in my throat!!! I think those words the first time I heard them, were chopped up to "Oh, he is just scared." But now I realize what he is actually telling me. "Mommy it's my ear and why not let it be my decision to reconstruct when I want too.
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For the record: Hayden you are the most special person in the whole wide world and you will always be special in everyone's eyes. I just want to prevent you from any psychological trauma from well Insecure Bullies. I always want to be able to protect you and prevent pain in any way, form, or fashion.
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Currently, Hayden is still scheduled to see Dr Lewin this summer,we are still fundraising for the slightly over 14000 we are currently lacking. Dr. Lewins office has been amazing, responding to my lot of an est 10 emails a day (which no longer occurs), personal phone calls from Dr Lewin herself, just to say, "Don't worry, I promise it will all work out." And if we don't have the funding by the summer, we will approach it and reassess the timeline. Cole seems to think this has been a quick decision we have reached and that just maybe a little more time (6 months to a year) would allow us to save.
I never dreamed how hard it is to fundraise. Esp when what minimal support you are receiving is not from those that go on about the greater good. My support system had been Hayden, Cole, all of the M/A friends I have med over the the year. There are some super standout families walking in our very same shoes.
Some ideas for fundraisers are currently being kicked around by The Amazing Singer/Songwriter Kelli Johnson. I hope us girls can brainstorm something amazing, that our friends, family, and the community would love to come too. Seriously, I just love Kelli's music, great friends, a good time. And finally for a good cause. I am also thinking some kind of silent auction (with some REALLY nice stuff).
Well, I knew a lot of people have been keeping up with the page and blogs. How do I say this.....my WONDERFUL hubby grounded me from this page and any other ear related tasks and get some good rest.
Goodnight Guys
Please comment or message us
Silent Auction Donations would be much appreciated. Silent Auction coming SOON!!!!
We already got a yes from Griffens in Talladega.
Cole, Hayden, and I really appreciate all of the support you have shown us.